An early comparison review of "The Karate Kid"
After seeing nothing more than an ad on the side of a bus:
1984 Karate Kid production info: Starred Japanese-American Pat "The Hip Nip" Morita as Mr. Miyagi, who teaches karate to a kid.
2010 Karate Kid production info: Stars Jackie "You Might Remember Me From 'Rush Hour' (and not much else)" Chan, Hong Kong-born international movie star and practitioner of Kung Fu/Wushu (as well as many less common Fu's, such as "Ladder-Fu").
After watching the trailer:
1984 Karate Kid background: After a cross-country move to Reseda, Daniel "Ralph Macchio" LaRusso (actually in his twenties at the time) was a high-school sophomore getting his ass kicked by Johnny "I'll decide when he's had enough!" Lawrence and crew on a regular basis. In the middle of one of these beatings, unassuming old Mr. Miyagi hops a fence Navy SEAL style and throws the karate hammer down against those Aryan brotherhood jocks. Mr. Miyagi then teaches Ralph to be the twitchiest karate fighter in all San Fernando Valley.
2010 Karate Kid background: A presumably 10-year old Jaden "No Choice But To Be Famous" Smith moves to China and gets the elementary school version of Yellow Fever, but some mean-looking Chinese kids mistake this movie for an 80's teen drama and flip his lunch tray in the cafeteria. Then, Jackie Chan beats on some pre-teens in what must be the most lopsided street fight since those guys antagonized some cross-dressing cage fighters (and don't tell me that Jackie Chan is older than Pat Morita was in the original—Pat Morita was a constant 70 years old from 1975 until his death in 2005). Jackie Chan decides to teach Kung Fu to young Jaden, thus dispelling any crazy rumors about this film potentially having something to do with karate.
After Watching the Movie:
1984 Karate Kid plot summary: The rest of the movie is a Joe Esposito music montage of twitchiness, ass-kickery, not being kept down by anything, being the best around, and never stopping until reaching the top.
2010 Karate Kid plot summary prediction: It's going to be terrible.
I guess now we can all look forward to The Next Next Karate Kid, likely featuring Chuck Norris punching some babies before teaching Tae Kwon Do to a 2-year-old girl.
1984 Karate Kid production info: Starred Japanese-American Pat "The Hip Nip" Morita as Mr. Miyagi, who teaches karate to a kid.
2010 Karate Kid production info: Stars Jackie "You Might Remember Me From 'Rush Hour' (and not much else)" Chan, Hong Kong-born international movie star and practitioner of Kung Fu/Wushu (as well as many less common Fu's, such as "Ladder-Fu").
After watching the trailer:
1984 Karate Kid background: After a cross-country move to Reseda, Daniel "Ralph Macchio" LaRusso (actually in his twenties at the time) was a high-school sophomore getting his ass kicked by Johnny "I'll decide when he's had enough!" Lawrence and crew on a regular basis. In the middle of one of these beatings, unassuming old Mr. Miyagi hops a fence Navy SEAL style and throws the karate hammer down against those Aryan brotherhood jocks. Mr. Miyagi then teaches Ralph to be the twitchiest karate fighter in all San Fernando Valley.
2010 Karate Kid background: A presumably 10-year old Jaden "No Choice But To Be Famous" Smith moves to China and gets the elementary school version of Yellow Fever, but some mean-looking Chinese kids mistake this movie for an 80's teen drama and flip his lunch tray in the cafeteria. Then, Jackie Chan beats on some pre-teens in what must be the most lopsided street fight since those guys antagonized some cross-dressing cage fighters (and don't tell me that Jackie Chan is older than Pat Morita was in the original—Pat Morita was a constant 70 years old from 1975 until his death in 2005). Jackie Chan decides to teach Kung Fu to young Jaden, thus dispelling any crazy rumors about this film potentially having something to do with karate.
After Watching the Movie:
1984 Karate Kid plot summary: The rest of the movie is a Joe Esposito music montage of twitchiness, ass-kickery, not being kept down by anything, being the best around, and never stopping until reaching the top.
2010 Karate Kid plot summary prediction: It's going to be terrible.
I guess now we can all look forward to The Next Next Karate Kid, likely featuring Chuck Norris punching some babies before teaching Tae Kwon Do to a 2-year-old girl.
posted by Peter at
12:09 PM
3 Comments
